In this week’s blog Stella Wilson, a senior at Belleville East High School, IL, offers a reflection on her journey toward confidence as a reader and learner. In her blog, she explores the challenges of living with dyslexia, the transformative impact of literature, and the courage it takes to embrace one’s individuality while preparing to step into the future.
My Solo Flight
Walking to my English class my heart starts to race. I can feel the sweat starting to build on my forehead. I dread English class. Stepping over the threshold I hold my breath, hoping my teacher does not say we will be reading out loud. She has a giant smile on her face as I watch the words slip from her lips. Her mouth seems to move in slow motion as I hear her say, “Good morning class! Today is a quiet reading day! Work on reading the book you got from the library this week.” I take a deep breath. I can feel the sense of relief flood into my lungs.
Reading out loud to the class is one of my biggest fears. I try my hardest to read the words clearly and confidently, but each time I try, I seem to stumble over my words. I pray none of my peers can see my eyes gloss over as I hold back tears and try to finish the paragraph. I feel inferior to everyone around me, and although I work hard and get good grades, I feel so behind. I don’t know why, but all my peers seem to soar past me. I find myself struggling over vocab words that my friends comprehend in half the time it takes me. I do not understand why I feel so different from my peers. No matter how hard I try to keep up with everyone, I just feel behind them.
This is how I felt for most of my years in school. It took me much of my early teen years to feel confident in English class. I’ve read many great books that have allowed me to gain confidence and learn to love the subject. Fast forward eight years, I’m now a senior in high school. Things are beginning to feel real and life is becoming very exciting. I’m about to graduate high school in a couple of months, and then I will be heading to college. I have started to reach the milestones that I’ve dreamed of for so many years. I will turn eighteen and officially become an adult. I will start college, move out, and be completely on my own. There are a lot of changes that will be happening in the next couple of years. It is a huge transitional period in my life. I have been overwhelmed with many different emotions. There is this feeling like excitement, but at the same time, it is tying knots in my stomach. I find myself wanting to grow up and spread my wings, but at the same time, I am terrified that I might fall. I tend to find myself doubting a lot of things that surround me right now. I must remind myself that things will fall into place and everything will be okay. As I think about so much of the future, I also think about the past and all the things that have influenced me.
Who knew the book I was reading silently in the 4th grade would leave a lasting impact on my confidence? That book was Who Was Ameila Earhart? by Kate Boehm Jerome and it changed my perspective on a lot of things. I know it may seem like an odd core memory, to look back on that minuscule and unimportant moment, but it may be one of the most important things that I read in my young life. The story is quite interesting and her determination to make her own way coupled with the mystery of her disappearance makes the book even more riveting. What I did not know at the time of reading that book was that I am dyslexic. I didn’t know this information until my sophomore year of high school. When I got the news, it was in a sense life-altering, and it took me a while to process what it meant. Over time I began to understand that being dyslexic does not change the person I am, rather, it adds to my individuality.
I feel that when I reflect on my elementary years there was a reason that I seemed to drift toward the Who Was books. The thin, colorful book was very inviting to my young mind. They weren’t scary like all the other books my friends and peers were reading. The books were only about a hundred pages long and something that seemed so silly, but was in fact so important, was that the size and boldness of the lettering inside was perfect. Those books made me feel like I was reading at a normal pace. Out of all the Who Was books, I find Who Was Ameila Earhart? especially meaningful. I couldn’t have known, at the time, the significance Amelia Earhart would have on me as I grew up. She was a brave and resilient woman; she was not afraid when people questioned her; she knew her worth and she was ready to prove it to the world. This small and simple book pushed me to read many others in the series about important and powerful women. The series allowed me to read and FINISH entire books, gain confidence in my reading ability, and learn about history. It also gave me perspective that important and significant women and people in general come from all walks of life. From reading Who Was Princess Diana? to What Was the Underground Railroad? I’ve learned many stories about women who never backed down from any situation life threw at them. As I look forward to the next step in my education, I look back and realize how these little books helped shape my love of learning. Stories of perseverance have taught me that everyone faces adversity in their lives: it’s how you choose to adapt and press on that defines your future.
Stella Wilson is a senior currently attending Belleville East High School. She is a current member of the Literary Lancer Chapter of the National English Honor Society. She resides in Shiloh, IL, with her twin brother, Haden; her mothers, Jenn and Courtney; and their four dogs. Stella spends her time out of school, volunteering at her church, spending time with family, and working on projects for her sewing business. After high school, Stella plans on attending the University of Missouri – Columbia where she plans to attain her doctorate in Occupational Therapy. After college, Stella aspires to become a Pediatric Occupational Therapist, so she can help children overcome their differences.
National English Honor Society
The National English Honor Society (NEHS), founded and sponsored by Sigma Tau Delta, is the only international organization exclusively for secondary students and faculty who, in the field of English, merit special note for past and current accomplishments. Individual secondary schools are invited to petition for a local chapter, through which individuals may be inducted into Society membership. Immediate benefits of affiliation include academic recognition, scholarship and award eligibility, and opportunities for networking with others who share enthusiasm for, and accomplishment in, the language arts.
America’s first honor society was founded in 1776, but high school students didn’t have access to such organizations for another 150 years. Since then, high school honor societies have been developed in leadership, drama, journalism, French, Spanish, mathematics, the sciences, and in various other fields, but not in English. In 2005, National English Honor Society launched and has been growing steadily since, becoming one of the largest academic societies for secondary schools.
As Joyce Carol Oates writes, “This is the time for which we have been waiting.” Or perhaps it was Shakespeare: “Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer . . .” we celebrate English studies through NEHS.
National English Honor Society accepts submissions to our blog, NEHS Museletter, from all membership categories (students, Advisors, and alumni). If you are interested in submitting a blog, please read the Suggested Guidelines on our website. Email any questions and all submissions to: submit@nehsmuseletter.us.
